Sengoku: San no Densetsu
by SomeOriginalName
Summary: Through a plot hole the author has yet to figure out, the Eds are forced into the realm of Rance.  Now they struggle to stay alive as their savior, a narcissist, places them in dangerous situations, on his quest to become Emperor of Japan  and its women .
1. Chapter 1

Sengoku ED

_**No not just any warring states Japan. I'm talking Rance JAPAN. The Eds, as these stories usually begin, wind up in Rance's world through some sort of obscure plot device. Now the Eds team up with Rance to conquer all of Japan. Mature themes, most of it implied. Naughty scenes skipped, though implied. I do not claim to own any of this so no copyright infringement claims please.**_

Prologue

"You said this class was an easy 'A' Double D." grumbled a short boy in his yellow shirt and complimenting jeans. He tossed another book aside to his towering companions, who giggled as it ricocheted off his head.

"Well it is, all it is just memorization." Edd replied. At another bookshelf the boy browsed a column, reciting the titles in his mind. His hand retracted and sighed as he noticed all the build up of dust on his finger. He looked for a place to wipe his finger clean, and disdainfully resigned to smear it at the bottom of his red sweatshirt, clearly despising every moment of it.

"I hate memorizing."

"Well every class requires you to do SOMETHING Eddy. If there was a class that graded you by loafing about and playing video games, I would have recommended it already. But seeing as there isn't this is the next best thing." Edd finally was satisfied on a book and withdrew it carefully from the row. He pushed his drooping black hat out of his eyes and lightly blew off any residue dust, more as show than there being any actual dust.

"Here we are this should give us all the information we need for the project." Edd concluded. Eddy stared at the cover that was nothing but red leather save for the black words 'Romantic Conflicts of Asia: Three Kingdoms, and the Warring States', and sighed. "Great I'll get right to being bored."

Their tall friend who until now had been content with poking his belly button returned to reality, not for an insightful comment but to remind his friends he was still breathing. "My skull makes a good brain warmer.", He then returned to his belly button, holding his striped red shirt between his neck and nonexistent chin.

"And it hurts me like crazy when I sock you Ed. But it'll be worth it." Eddy growled balling a fist. Ed paid no heed, simply rummaged through the pockets of his green jacket for some unknown item.

"Now now Eddy, please control your temper. East History is supposed to be an easy class. We'll be out of here soon enough."

"We better be, this is the last place I wanna be on a day like today." Eddy waved his hand for dramatics.

Unbeknownst to them another person was watching them. He was of medium height, wearing a bland shirt and pants that did not attract the eye, if anything he could make himself invisible completely if not for the wolfish grin spread across his face. He reached into his pocket to check if it was there. It was. Good. Would have looked rather silly otherwise.

In a flash he jumped over the tables in a loud crash, all eyes on him now. With a cry of "PLOT DEVICE!" he landed feet first right in front of the Eds, withdrew the object from his pocket, and a bright flash later, the Eds we're gone. "Aren't I just gruesome?" he joked to himself. Everyone was dumbstruck by what the just saw, for good reason. The boy realized suddenly he had a larger audience than he wanted and pointed the object at himself. "AWAY!" he shouted and another flash filled the room. The fourth boy was also gone.

1

_Well things we're odd enough. Strangely though I feel as though this has happened to us hundreds of times, though I'm not sure why…I cannot say what happened after that light because according to Eddy I was unconscious for the most part, three weeks according to him. And was he ecstatic when I finally woke up. Apparently we we're in a bad way. I'm not sure where we are, according to our 'benefactors' someplace called Zeth. By some sort of bridge, no one's making sense. And even stranger was that no one heard of Peach Creek, or phones, or GPS, or anything! What's worse is that we we're held hostage! Apparently by our clothes these vagabonds thought us to be some sort of royalty and we're holding us ransom! Of all things! They held us for another week before deciding to bring us out and hold us in front of a live audience as they called it. But just as they threw us onto some dirt path, another odd fellow appeared. A brash, outspoken man, with a sword that…talked, I know I thought I was hallucinating, but a slap later and it was still talking. The bandits swarmed over him and I closed my eyes. It took less then a minute and all the bandits we're dead! Needless to say we we're stunned. I tried to thank him; well all did for rescuing us and if he could help us out. He just laughed and said "_Sorry I only like girls."_ What was that supposed to mean? But that didn't stop us, Eddy used his skills of annoyance to pressure him into explaining all he knew about where we we're, which unfortunately wasn't enough for me to formulate exactly how we came here. Needless to say, our savior, Rance and his…erm…slave Sill have taken us in, despite us not being able to offer much. Rance seems to think so though. He said he liked Ed's simplicity, though those were not his exact words…Okay so he's rude, self-centered, and just…just…a JERK! But he's our best chances of staying alive so we put up with it. We eventually made our way to Japan of all places! Japan! And I must say this definitely isn't our world. For one I'm pretty sure during the warring states period Japan didn't allow any foreigners in, but Rance said he had a pamphlet encouraging foreigners to come to see a princess or something. Oh what are we to do? _

Edd set aside the well worn notebook he had carried with him since Rance had saved them, and returned to the food at hand: dango and tea. Already Ed had finished his and was getting more, and Eddy was chewing thoughtfully on his snack all the while Rance spewed food all over as he talked to a young girl. Rance, even when sitting was a head taller than Ed, covered in a green fabric with heavy looking plate armor covering his torso and shoulders. His cape, which was a dark green, was still clinging to him, making Edd wonder how Rance managed to keep the thing so spotless. Or perhaps it was that color because he never washed it? Rance started laughing, as he commonly does, his armored boots leaving deep welts in the ground as he bought them down, and gave everyone in the tea house an open view of his teeth, which were all sharpened to points.

"MORE DANGO!" he shouted as he tore into his fifth serving.

"My aren't you the hungry ones." Came their benefactor. A man, not quite young but not quite old either smiled at them. He wore a yellow top, with a small looking monkey crawling through the fabric. His hair grew down to the base of his neck and he had the beginnings of a beard forming around his chin.

"Um Rance…c-can I have some?" the pink haired girl next to him begged. Rance turned around and dropped his fist on the top of her head. "Slaves don't get any!"

"Here you go." The owner of the teahouse gave Sill some, who accepted graciously. Rance growled as he watched this. Watching such mistreatment made Edd's blood boil, but he restrained himself, one because it was not really his business; and two if he made it his business he'd risk looking at the business end of Rance's sword.

The little girl next to the owner seemed to have more guts then him. "You shouldn't be so mean to your wife sir." She chided.

Rance spluttered on his dango and Sill blushed heavily. "You're misreading the situation!"

The man patted the girl's head. "Come now dear daughter, no need to intimidate our guests." In an attempt to ease the tension, he coughed lightly and changed the subject. "So what brings you five out here to Owari?"

"Well…" Eddy began. "We-"

"They're just following me because I saved them." Rance interrupted. "And the reason I'M here is THIS!" he pulled out a pamphlet. 'SEE THE BEAUTIES OF JAPAN! ODA NOBUNAGA'S SISTER PRINCESS KOU-HIME!' , and underneath those words was a beautiful woman with her kimono draping off her shoulders.

"I came here to make Kou-hime mine!"

The owner continued to smile but he noted that his fists tightened. The girl looked up. "Brother why do you make those pictures of me?" The owner just patted her head. "And why do you always pat my head in public?"

Rance stared at the two before him. Then back at the pamphlet. Then back at them. Edd sighed. "Here, let me save you the trouble." He walked in front of the two people of Rance's interest. "Oda Nobunaga." He pointed to the man. "And Oda Kou." he pointed to the girl. "So I'm afraid unless you have no trouble with very young girls, you wasted your time Rance sir."

"What? WHAT? WHAAAAAAT?" Rance shouted, flinging his tea at Eddy. "Ow watch where you throw that!"

The man called Oda Nobunaga shrugged. "Surprised?"

"Th-the-then this girl here!"

"Is not that old."

"I can see that EDD!" Rance shouted. "AUGH! THAT'S JUST WRONG! I don't do kids!"

Oda's fists once again clenched tightly. "That's the only reason you came here?"

_Needless to say it was an awkward moment. In truth I didn't know what Rance had crossed that giant land bridge for. Until he declared his intention I didn't even know enough of about him to make an accurate guess…but even Nobunaga, this world's Nobunaga hit us with a choice that still boggles my mind._

"This nation is in a sorry state. Japan is divided into warring factions, all vying for power. A nation divided cannot stand." Nobunaga said with a sigh.

With his identity revealed Nobunaga had invited his foreign guests to Owari castle, though the Eds we're somewhat reluctant. But Rance assured them they could come with him or leave. He was the closest thing they had to safety in this strange place so they followed. Instead of being the trap they feared, Nobunaga invited them to a private feast while he explained himself. In truth though only Rance, Sill, and Edd we're listening. Eddy tried to but his short attention span combined with the big words bored him to tears. Ed didn't even try and consigned himself to wandering the castle, much to the protest of everyone.

"Well why don't you do something about it?" Edd asked. "Surely you, Nobunaga, must have a great amount of power to sway others." _I know he loses, but he's supposed to be one of the most powerful warlords around. I can't imagine him lying down about this._

"Sadly I cannot do much, the soldiers need someone to lead them from the front, and I can't do that. I just don't have the strength anymore." He replied.

"Well then." Rance began, putting down his soup bowl. "MAKE ME THE NEW RULER!"

That got everyone's attention.

"WHAT?" Edd shouted.

"What?" Eddy yelled as the conversation to a very odd turn.

"What?" asked Ed as he came crashing through a screen door.

Even the monkey on Nobunaga's shoulder was dumbstruck by the turn of events. Yet Nobunaga didn't seem surprised. If anything he was…contemplating.

After a long, painful silence, Nobunaga opened his eyes. "Very well. You will be Oda's secret ruler."

"WHAT?" Edd and Eddy yelled again.

"Ding dong whose there?" Ed asked; his face still planted firmly to the floor. Rance however was jubilant, laughing loudly, baring his sharp teeth again. "All the women of this country will be mine! GAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Sill was beside herself as her master was having another one of his crazy impulses. And Kou looked up worriedly at her brother. "Are you sure you want to do this? You are giving this stranger total power over our nation."

Nobunaga smiled and patted her head. "I want to see this nation united under one banner. I want to be able to see that and you married to a great lord. Under my leadership I doubt Oda will go too far, but I can see a fire in this man that can take our nation to greatness, and you in the arms of a deserving noble."

"This will be ME in five years time!" Rance grinned.

"No." Nobunaga said flatly, though his smile never faded.

"This is not what the history books say!" Edd exclaimed as he gripped his head.

"Yeah, it's even better!" Eddy agreed. Or at least agreed on his terms.

"But…but…it's not Nobunaga who wins! It's Tokugawa! We're supporting the loser in this war!" Edd hissed into Eddy's ear.

"Well I doubt those books with Tofu-salad-"

"Tokugawa!"

"That's what I said. I doubt they we're counting on this guy." Eddy said pointing to Rance who was standing up, laughing away. "I mean he ain't in history right?"

"Well yes true he isn't…"

"Exactly. What, you scared we're gonna get killed or something?"

"I'm surprised we're still alive actually…but I suppose we have found a safe place, so long as we stay as far from any battlefield as we possible can." Edd replied ominously.

Then Ed did something that he usually does. He did something stupid that would drag his friends deep into the mire of a dangerous escapade. He laughed alongside Rance. And Rance liked it. "Even the boys approve of my new position! And as a reward, my first official act is to make you officers in my army!"

This time even Nobunaga raised an eyebrow, though the Eds reaction could not be accurately described in words. Somewhere between terror and surprise is the most accurate. Kou watched the scene unfold her. All she could manage was "Oh my, foreigners can be so emotional…"

_And thus Rance became the new Ruler of Oda. And somehow we became his first vassals. And the first order of business was to get us suited up properly…which honestly was not one of the better things. Really we just got he hand me downs and we're told to put them on. The only thing we really had in the end was Ed getting some metal helm that covered his hold head and topped off with an evil looking spike, and Eddy had a cuirass that stayed in place only because of a leather strap covered by a shoulder pad that looked like its seen better days. And nothing sadly fit me…Rance didn't seem to care though as he judged us enough for his ceremony, and took no account in the face that I was still unprotected from potential assassins or when we are in the battlefield! Being named an officer of a foreigner's army whose intent is to conquer an entire country makes me a very pleasing target. As I could plainly see when, of course some of Oda's vassals did not take too kindly to this change in power. Namely two: Kubota Houge, and Hira Munamoto. They even went as far as to leave House Oda. And now they are trying to start a rebellion. Our first week in JAPAN and already we're being thrown into the grinder…_

Edd swung the gunbai in his hands, not quite used to the weight of the heavy iron fan. Akechi made it look so simple…speaking of which, the tactician was discussing with general Keiji the best means of deployment. There we're a lot of faces he now recognized but he struggled to match the names to the faces.

Shibata was the giant man in yellow armor, sporting a spear larger than him. He smiled as he stroked his thin beard that was growing under his lower lip but did not quite extend beyond his chin, relishing the chance to show off his prowess. To whom he wasn't quite sure.

Then there was Ranmaru, who really creeped Edd out. In fact she creeped out all the Eds not by what she said, but by the fact she never said anything to them. In fact she never even made eye contact. Her armor was more top heavy than the others, leaving very little protection to her legs, which probably what allowed her so much mobility when she was out on the field. She blew back a strand of hair that drooped over her eyes, which seemed to annoy her greatly. Maybe she wanted all her neck-length hair to be stiff. But that was merely conjecture. What drew the eyes the most however was the sword strapped to her right shoulder. Her hand was on its hilt, as if expecting a fight at any moment.

"So exactly where did all these soldiers come from? I thought Nobunaga was only dealing with a handful of rebels. This is a full army I'm looking at!" Eddy exclaimed, his voice cracking as he reached the end of the sentence.

"Ashikaga helped them." Shibata noted. His giant size was somewhat reassuring, as it put a huge soldier between the Eds and the soldiers down there. But it was offset by the silent Ranmaru.

"Okay, kid here who never pays attention in class, care for a more detailed explanation?" Eddy asked, waving his hand in the air with a dull look on his face.

"Ashikaga Chousin. His family is one of the wealthiest nations in JAPAN. He helped these rebels, seeing it as an opportunity to take over Oda and our ports to further increase his wealth."

Eddy pondered this information. "…Wealthy eh?"

Ed was looking at the gathering army at the bottom of the hill, and noticed the different sashimi. He giggled when he saw the pink banners of House Ashikaga.

"It would not be wise to stand to close young man." Akechi advised the tall Ed. He held his gunbai over his eyes. "They have their archers close to the front. They might be able to reach you from there."

"Cool. Then I shall fight in the shade!" Ed declared. He stuck out his chest trying to look as cool as the soldier he just mimicked, while Akechi stared in puzzlement at the boy's odd if not admirable bravery.

"Brother you should have at least put on chain mail, you're taking many risks coming out here in just a summer coat!" Kou was doting over her older brother as usual. Nobunaga simply smiled and pat her head. "And stop patting my head please! This is serious!"

"Don't worry so much. It's not like I'm going to be out there fighting myself you know…" the monkey emerged from the depths of Nobunaga's coat again, sneezing.

Before Kou could protest Rance stepped forward. "That's right Kou-hime, you have nothing to worry about. I'm gonna step down there and tear em apart. You're brother's fine where he is. Alright!" , he clapped his hands together. "Here's the strategy! We all charge and hit their middle! Any questions?" Silence. Then Eddy's hand shot up.

"I just have one question: Why are we fighting too? Aren't we a bit…young?"

"An excellent question." Oda said with a smile. The horn signaling the beginning of battle trumpeted around the camp. "Too bad there's no time to explain, now off you go!"

"What?" And the Eds we're dragged of by Shibata. "Come on or you'll miss all the good parts!"

The battlefield seemed a bit one sided. Oda, while fighting his own retainers, still had the upper hand with numbers and skilled officers. Sans the Eds. They stuck out like a sore thumb in the middle of the open field as the two armies faced each other down. But seeing as how the Eds we're commanding peasant militia, they seemed to blend in to the sea of inexperience, the only thing setting them apart from the hundreds of blank eyed soldiers was their bright clothes indicating a status above the grunts.

"Well what now?" Eddy asked, holding a knife that looked as long as a sword when he held it.

Ed of course had no clue, he was still trying to figure out where everything was as the helmet on his head made the world oh so much smaller. The spear he was given was lost somewhere between the camp and the battlefield and it was too late to go searching for it.

Edd scanned the field. Rance's swordsmen were piercing the enemy's front lines, while Shibata's spear men served as a buffer against a regiment that was trying to flank Rance. Already the cohesion of the enemy was beginning to loosen in his area. A little more and they would break. "Follow Rance in!" Edd finally declared. His friends looked at him astonished. "His line has the fewest enemies. We have a better chance of getting out of this alive if we stay close to him this time." He whispered to his friends. Realization hit Eddy and he started smiling. Ed was already smiling, most of what Edd said went in one ear and out the other, but he nodded vigorously, ready to follow his friends wherever they went. He repeated his command, and the regiment of peasant-soldiers charged down the slope.

Noboyuki's regiment had nearly had it with Rance slicing into any soldier who got too close, and Sill healing any wounded ally. Their morale was low and they just needed the proper catalyst to send them into a retreat. That catalyst came when they were blindsided by five hundred soldiers crashing into them. These new enemies we're poorly equipped with no uniform weapon, and showed they didn't have much experience but their sheer number. The surprise as these new troops smashed into their side uplifted the morale of Oda's army, and broke the remaining shreds of order in the rebels' ranks.

First two broke off. Then ten. Then twenty. Then forty. Then the entire army was routed and the coordinated army was reduced to a retreating rabble. Being inexperienced and eager to win glory, many soldiers pursued, hacking down enemies that we're too slow. Rance smiled as he saw them retreat. "Trap sprung."

"Damn those foreigners! They have poisoned not only the lord but his men as well!" Kubota Houge cursed, confident he was safely far enough from the Oda Army to swear retribution against the poisoning foreigners.

Before any more promises of vengeance could be made, the retreating army found themselves face to face with Ranmaru's unit. Coming from behind was Rance, to the sides Shibata, and the Eds. The surviving commanders made to rally their troops for a final stand and they formed a circle, but all too quickly it fell apart as Oda's army swarmed in from all sides. Rance cackled as his sword, Chaos, felled soldiers left and right. Ranmaru waded through effortlessly, not making a show of it like Rance, though relishing the chance to be in her element. Shibata blocked a sword strike and countered with his spear at the offending soldier.

Some thought the weak point would be the Eds' unit and tried to break through, but realized all too quickly that their desperation made them easy targets for soldiers even as inexperienced as the Eds. Eddy slashed at the legs of one while Ed head butted another with bone crushing force. Ed's naturally thick skull and helmet protection allowed him to shrug off the improvised attack but his opponent was not so fortunate as his armor cracked under the force, bending inward and piercing his vitals. Edd stood in the throng of the melee, gripping his fan tightly as his eyes darted in every direction. One soldier noticed him and in a craze, charged at him shouting a war cry. Edd screamed and backed away, only to trip on the body of a fallen soldier. By luck, his fan covered his chest as his enemy slashed down. Edd struck back more out of desperation than any real ability, and blocked another slash. And another. And another. But this being Edd, was quickly losing his strength, and his enemy could sense the weakness. The swordsman swung with all his might…and missed. Too much exercise, panic, and general horror caused Edd temporarily lapse in consciousness sending him collapsing to the ground.. The surprised swordsman continued his powerful swing until his blade lodged itself in the truck of a tree. He struggled to release it but the blade bit deep. Edd slowly got up, and seeing his enemy incapacitated, raised his gunbai and swung it with all his might. There was a loud ringing noise as the iron fan made contact with the swordsman's head. It didn't kill him, but the force did knock his opponent. Edd sighed in relief as the danger had passed, and only then did he realize that around him fighting had also died down.

Only a handful managed to escape the massacre, neither of the vassals were not among them. One was dead the other glaring at Rance with pure hatred. The surviving Kubota charged at Rance, intent on not dying alone. Rance simply laughed and with a deft stroke of Chaos, the other Kubota fell. "I regret nothing…" he said as his eyes closed.

Oda's camp erupted into cheers. "We are victorious!"

Rance strutted in. "Of course, I led everyone down there, how else could we have won?"

Edd sighed as he massaged his arms. He was still not used to swinging the gunbai around, it made it even harder to block a sword strike with it. "I never thought I'd see someone with an ego bigger than yours Eddy."

"Yeah I kn-hey!"

The Oda siblings watched as Rance tried to gloat as much as he could while the boys argued with each other. "Are you sure it was a good idea handing the country over to him?" Kou picked at the subject once again. Instead of getting frustrated, Nobunaga just smiled an patted her head.

_With the rebels defeated Rance's transition to the new leader went without much of a hitch. However since it was his goal to conquer ALL of Japan, this would not be the last battle._

Rance surveyed the room with approval. "That makes the first of many victories! Now we go on the offensive!" he declared then laughed.

"But lord Rance! Where are we to strike?" queried three voices at once. Rance turned to see an old man with three faces on his head. The left face had tears streaming down its face as it looked ready to cry. The center face was set in a scowl that was enraged by everything. And the right face was holding back laughter with a wide smile plastering its face.

"WAAAH! MONSTER!" yelled Rance.

"Oh how rude!" the middle face shouted. "I happen to be a youkai thank you!"

"Rance-san. This is 3G, he has been a loyal advisor to the Oda family for years." said princess Kou.

"And we look forward to serving you!" all three heads said in unison.

Rance glared at the old youkai and said. "You're fired."

"WHAT?"

"Oh dear. He didn't mean that 3G." princess Kou patted the dejected 3G.

"WHERE THE HELL ARE THE ED BOYS? THEY ARE MISSING EVERYTHING INVOLVING ME!"

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\Somewhere in Owari/

The Eds we're gathered around a table at some inn not too far from the castle. Edd was trying to enjoy a light meal of a fried egg over rice, while Eddy was infuriating the cooks as he went through every painstaking step to making the perfect burger. Ed was watching a kabuki play, laughing all the while.

"Yay! I have no idea what's going on!" his voice echoed inside the helmet he neglected to remove.

Edd smiled at his friends antics, it certainly attracted the other occupants away from him. He looked out the inn and tried his best to enjoy this new place. "This might have made a nice vacation spot if it weren't for all the fighting…" he sighed as he reached down for his notebook.

By this time Eddy had returned with the cook's best attempt at a hamburger, but without the usual condiments to accentuate it, it was basically a steak on bread. Eddy groaned as he tried to savor his sandwich as best he could. "Yo sockhead. What are you doin'?"

"Trying to keep record of our unit. With our recent victory, recruitment rate has nearly tripled as many disillusioned and destitute men are flocking to the army for a share of glory and for a steady room and board. Unfortunately, issuing kit, rations, and training exercises are becoming tedious, and I have yet to assign any among them to be an aide to lighten the burden."

"I don't recognize half the words you used, but okay…but I wanna talk to you about history."

Edd was dumbfounded. "Eddy…really? You?"

"Now don't start thinking this is a change for me. I know you know about this uh...feudin' state thing. So I was thinking, Rance has no clue what he's doing right?"

Edd eyed him suspiciously. "Right?"

"And really he'll attack anyone given his attitude yeah?"

"True…"

"So maybe you and me can work as…advisers. Help him decide who to fight and who to leave alone."

"…That sounds prudent."

Eddy smiled. "So you think we should have a go at it?"

Edd miraculously pulled out the same textbook that he held in the library all those weeks ago. "First you need to be bought up to speed." Eddy's smile started to fade.

"Yeah uh...I was thinking maybe it should just be you."

"Oh you know Rance won't listen if it's only me. He'll want another opinion and if you can't back me up, he won't believe a word I say. So I'm afraid all you can do is, study."

Eddy groaned and dropped his face into his arms. Edd smiled as he caught Eddy in the very trap he tried to weave. Then looked up and shouted. "ED!"

Ed was disrupting the kabuki play by doing a Russian Cossack dance. But instead of angering the audience, they seemed to enjoy this odd turn of events. "Look ma no hands!" he declared.


	2. Chapter 2

2

"So what do we do now?" Rance demanded of 3G.

"Well since our lord wants you to unite Japan, I would say the best course is to start invading the counties of our neighbors.", 3G's happy face giggled.

"Yes! Let's do it!" Rance declared.

"But we need to declare war first. We can't simply invade for no reason, or our enemies will receive support from everyone else. We'd be overwhelmed in the first battle." Kou chimed in helpfully. Rance's initial pomp was blown out of him and he slumped back onto the floor. "What?"

"It's true I'm afraid, it's all very formal here.", 3G's melancholy face moaned. "Such are the rules of war."

"Fine then I declare war on…"Rance close his eyes, and pointed to a random spot on the map. A little too hard. "OW! My finger!" he exclaimed.

It still made an indent on the map however and Rance saw where he pointed. "The Hara family?", 3G's upset face shouted.

"Yeah those guys. They seem pretty small anyway so it'll be good warm up." Rance smirked as he cracked his knuckles.

"A prude decision…or possibly stupid…we cannot decide which." all of 3G's faces said at once.

"Great, now where's the Eds? I wanna tell em we're going to war!"

"I believe I last saw them wandering the town sir.", spoke one of Oda's vassals.

"Something more specific please?" Rance demanded as he turned to the cowering man

"Forgive me Rance-sama," the vassal begged bowing his head. "But I did not see where they went. Perhaps it is that inn they frequently visit."

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\Somewhere near Owari 

"Even in a different world Double D you make us do our homework?", groaned Eddy.

"Well if-WHEN we return." Edd corrected himself. "Our project will still be due. Might as well get the basic outline done."

"Ugh, I dunno why you even bother sockhead. Though I can't say there's not much else to do around here seeing as how there's no video games…I don't even know how to properly scam these folks…"

Edd stared shocked at Eddy. "Eddy, are you feeling ill? How could you ever be out of your element?"

Eddy waved his hands around. "Take a good look where we are Double D, does ANY of this look like Peach Creek? No. I don't know anybody, I don't know their needs, their personalities, I can't even make an educated guess as to any of those things because they probably have a totally different way of thinking! I have nothing to prey on."

Edd nodded thoughtfully. "That's understandable I suppose Eddy. But then please, help me with our project, it should help you get your mind back into proper shape!" Eddy moaned and placed his head in his arms. "Think about it this way, we are in Japan, or, some bizarre version of it in any case. We can use this as an opportunity to study our subject! And if you really must go off and do what you do best, then maybe this studying may help you get into their mindset…"

"I guess." Eddy said without even lifting his head.

Edd pointed to a map he had. "This is Ise territory. It belonged historically to the Hara family."

"NOT FOR LONG!" Came the oh so familiar voice of Rance. And instant later Eddy's knife came down right on top of the map, over Ise. The Eds looked up to see Rance's wolfish grin. "Suit up boys! We're going to war!"

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ Ise Territory

Hara Shouji's hands trembled as he read the scroll handed to him again. Again and a gain he reread it, as if hoping there was some word he skipped that said this was a joke. But he found nothing. "So it's true then…Oda has declared war on us…"

"Yes I'm afraid so lord. They claim that by supporting Ashikaga, we supported the rebels in their country."

Hara ran his hands through his graying hair. "Then we must negotiate for peace at once."

"How weak…"came a soft, but harsh tone from behind Hara. He turned to see his wife, Princess Aki, sneering at him. Even when angry she looked stunning, and Hara just could not bring himself to be angry at his wife. "What do you mean?" was all he could muster.

She turned her head away, the violet kimono twirling about and adding to the sense of grace she naturally carried. "Oda had just declared war and you roll over on your back like an old dog. I thought the man I was forced to marry had more spirit than that. It seems I was mistaken about you. As usual." she huffed.

Hara stood up instantly "No! No please do not think that dear." He turned to his vassals. "Ready our soldiers, if Oda wishes war, then we shall give them war!" he declared.

Aki covered her lower face with a fan as she eyed Hara. "That's better. And you had better win too." she stroked her husband's cheek. "You want to win as well don't you?"

"Yes of course." Hara replied a bit too quickly.

"Then go." She walked out of the room, and Hara followed he like a lapdog. The vassals looked at each other worried. "Poor Shouji-dono…"

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ Owari Castle

"How can you just up and go to war with someone else? We just finished fighting rebels and now you want us gallivanting off to get ourselves killed again?" Edd practically shrieked.

Rance nodded, as if nothing was wrong. "Yes. All for the sake of uniting a nation…under me."

"But we don't know anything about who we're fighting, what they have! Nothing!"

"Actually" moaned 3G's sad face, "we do have some information from our informants. Apparently Hara has a beautiful wife that he spoils. So much in fact that in most cases he does not even bother with the affairs of his country. According to our source his wife is basically a spoiled princess, and does not return the affection."

Rance got uncomfortably close to 3G. "Princess you day? Is she cute?"

3G looked away…as best he could for a being with three faces. "Er, I just said she is. A relative of Ashikaga Chousin, the one who funded the rebels."

"Small world huh?", Eddy quipped. "Seems like reason enough. Get back and that Asi-Aki-Abbba-whatever for trying to overthrow our country. Sounds fair. Maybe if we had her, he'd stop being so aggressive."

3G's happy face looked down at Eddy. "Why yes, and excellent idea! Chousin has lately been very testy at our borders, perhaps this will convince him that we are not to be trifled with…"

"As long as I get first dibs at her, I'll go with that plan." Rance grinned wolfishly.

"First at what?", Ed asked.

"Hackey sack.", Eddy groaned. "He means first for-actually, forget it Ed."

Edd sighed. "Well since conflict in inevitable, I suppose I'd best go get our soldiers ready…", he slumped his shoulders as he walked slowly towards the barracks. 3G looked after him.

"Is something wrong with your friend?", 3G asked to Eddy, all 3 faces directing their gaze at him, or at least as best they could.

"Somethin's always botherin' him don't worry about it." Eddy replied nonchalantly. "So, do we know anything about Hara Shoe's wealth?"

"It's Shouji, and as a matter of fact…"

_Well once again we we're going back to the battlefield. The first time was bad enough as I nearly died at least once…and that was enough to last me my whole life. But I no longer have power over these events. Our regiment had swelled since that first battle going from the few three hundred to six hundred! But that's just estimation. The first thing I set to do before facing certain doom again was at least try to establish some sense of order in our unit, which until now, has just been running on luck and alcohol. I tried to at least drill some basic formations into them, but my efforts we're fruitless until remarkably Eddy came up with some brilliant idea. Apparently he negotiated with Rance about splitting loot with him which he would then split with the best soldiers of the regiment… a deplorable tactic, but it was effective. Then again, these were peasants or men who had lost all their money through some unfortunate circumstance. In desperate times and all that. But with that the soldiers at least tried to look like a real army, though when compared to the men being led by Shibata or Ranmaru, ours was still dismally inexperienced. Nevertheless, I used their newfound attention to teach them a few formations that would increase their strength and hopefully increase their chances, and ours', of getting out of this next battle alive…_

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ Farming village in Ise

"I would have though we'd be occupying a major city first. A center of commerce or something." Edd said. "But such a small hamlet? Why?"

Akechi shook his head. "Because Ise is in a deplorable state. The only true center of commerce is the capital. Actually this is one of the more successful towns. It's why he has his army defending it."

Shibata smiled. "Another good day for a battle!", he declared and clenched his fist. Ranmaru was silent as ever, though every now and then she would glance in Shibata's direction…

"They're charging!" a subordinate cried out.

"Good." Rance grinned. He raised his sword into the air. "THEN LET'S MEET THEIR CHARGE WITH OUR OWN!"

"Showoff…"Chaos muttered.

"Right here we go again then eh guys?" Eddy asked. Edd nodded, and Ed laughed jubilantly. "Let's see if that training paid off.

"Wedge formation!" shouted Edd. The regiment slowly began to reform itself, albeit sloppily, but hastened with Eddy's declaration of "Remember the money boys!" and the peasant army reformed itself into something of a wedge, the front line of soldiers holding all forms of shields.

"Forward, keep in formation!" Edd shouted as he swung his gunbai around. The first of Hara's men crashed into the frontlines but whether due to training or greed, Ed's unit held together. The wedges formed funnels where the Hara found themselves getting crammed into corners, unable to strike back against the thrusting spears and swords of the peasant army. Edd's soldiers continued to march, trampling Hara under their feet, leaving them to the mercy of the soldiers behind the front. In less than five minutes, the Hara unit was obliterated, and one of the men was shouting he had the commander. The Edds pushed through there men to the shouting soldier. Sure enough, the man had the ornate maedate of a commanding officer. Eddy removed it and placed it on his head. "Souvenir." He smiled as his men dragged the dejected commander away.

Shibata charged into the exposed Hara archers. "All school girls watch me!" he cried as he plowed into the unprepared bowmen.

Rance was dueling the commander of a regiment of swordsmen, and he was winning. The man was panting, sweat covered his brow. He shouted another warcry and charged. Rance sidestepped and swung Chaos in an upward arc that the commander parried just barely. Rance knew he would do that and quickly blocked the riposte. He countered with his own and it struck the man in the leg. He yelled in pain as he collapsed onto his good leg. Rance held Chaos to the man's neck. "Drop it, or I kill you." He grinned wolfishly. The commander grinded his teeth but placed his blade on the ground.

The commander of the Hara army looked on dejected as the army was routed so easily and deiced a hasty retreat was most prudent by this point. The horn sounded, and the remnants of Hara retreated. "Oh no they don't, charge boys!" declared Eddy, and the Eds' army broke formation and pursued the fleeing army. Ed was running at the head, laughing stupidly as he bowled soldiers over like it was a game.

The battle had lasted for less than two hours and already the province was in Oda hands. The Oda army erupted in cheers. Back at camp, Oda Nobunaga smiled, "Well it seems like it was a good idea letting him run things. Don't you think?" he asked.

"He still acts to rashly." 3G's center face grumbled.

"Too impulsive.", moaned the right face.

"I think it's funny!" giggled the left.

"SHUT UP!" the other two retorted.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\Hara Castle

Hara Shouji sighed as he read the latest report. "Lost have you?" Hara turned, a little too eagerly for someone of his position. Aki was fanning herself with a scowl on her face.

"Dear! This is nothing. I-"

"You will take it back. You won't allow those Oda to even come near me.", she cut him off.

"Of-of course dear. I was organizing my troops to do just that!" he smiled, edging closer to her.

"See that you do…" Aki said in a condescending tone and turned away.

"Wait, may I sleep in your room tonight? We are husband and wife after all, that is the way things should be." Since the two had married, Aki had never allowed Shouji to even sleep in the same room as her unless he truly 'deserved' it, which usually involved paying large sums of money for her personal pleasure.

Aki turned her head halfway and looked at Hara Shouji with pity. "Perhaps not tonight…after all you DID lose.", and she left before Hara could say anymore.

His vassals, though silent, gritted their teeth in anger. "How dare that woman…" one of them growled.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\Ise Territory, Oda encampment

"That was a good fight, next we had best go for this place here!" Rance pointed to some point on the map. The various generals surrounding him nodded or mumbled to themselves. Edd studied it closely. "Why? It seems so far away from the castle…wouldn't this be better?" he asked as he pointed to a city that stood directly in front of them and the castle.

Rance shook his head. "No they would expect us there. We go around." 

"But that would give them more time to reinforce their lines." One general said.

"I'll smash through it anyway! I'm Rance after all." he grinned. Edd rolled his eyes and stepped out of the tent.

"Edd-sama.", said by a man behind him. "What are our plans?"

"We go around them to a less defended position. We'll be giving them time to prepare however, so we'll need to be ready Kenzo."

The one called Kenzo Matsuji was the man who managed to successfully capture the Hara commander during the last battle and it seemed prudent to have the one who managed to pull that off promoted. The soldier nodded. "Yes Edd-sama. Will we be doing more of those formation things again?"

"Yes. The battlefield we'll be on will be a town situated on a hill which give them the advantage of range. But first I want to see the blacksmith about something." Edd replied. He made his way for the blacksmith, Kenzo following him exactly ten steps behind the entire time.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ Ise Territory, Oda Occupied area

"What is he doing now?" Eddy asked Ed, as they stood by an inn eating manju. Seeing as how there we're no jawbreakers, the Eds had to make do with whatever sweets they could find, which didn't quite amount to the same no matter how much they tried. While waiting for Edd, they we're counting all the women Rance was trying to make a pass at. So far they were at twenty two.

"See for yourself buckaroo.", Ed replied as he pointed to an annoyed Ranmaru trying to outpace Rance.

"I'm not interested." Ranmaru said to Rance. But the womanizer was not giving up.

"Well why not? Is there someone else?" Ranmaru froze. "HA! There is someone else isn't there?"

"That's not your business." Ranmaru replied in the same monotone she kept during the entire conversation.

"Is it Oda?" Rance prodded.

"No. I serve Oda and made a vow to serve him. But I do not have such feelings for him. I will serve him as I serve you."

"So does that mean that-"

"No." Ranmare said flatly. Her face never changed expression, and that is what scared Eddy the most about her.

"Well then who is it?" Rance was getting frustrated.

"I do not see how telling you will help Oda. Good day lord Rance." And Ranmaru power walked away. Rance however refused to be defeated and ran off after her.

"That makes twenty three."

"Yep."

"And this is the guy who saved us." Eddy sighed.

"Oh yeah you betcha." Ed agreed as he stuffed more manju in his cheek.

_I enquired with the blacksmith about making a heavier, larger shield for my regiment. After showing him the designs and hearing a very interesting set of swearing, he set to work. I had based this plan of the Roman legions formations and hoped these men would be able to do the same. I doubt they could however since most have never even held a shield before, let alone fought with one. But I can only hope. With all these shields guarding us from the inevitable rain of arrows, we(Ed, Eddy, and me) might have a higher chance of survival. But then again, this is Rance, any chances of living diminish greatly just by having him around._

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\Ise Territoy Township siege

"I told you they would be prepared didn't I?" Edd said.

"Shut up." Rance smiled. "No wall is enough to stop me."

"Hahahaha! Another glorious fight! Right Ranmaru?" Shibata laughed as he hefted his massive spear.

"I supposed." Ranmaru looked away.

"Let us go!" Shibata declared and left to bring his unit to order.

Ranmaru sighed as she held a hand to her chest. "I SMELL THAT!" Rance declared as he suddenly appeared behind her.

Ranmaru groaned. "That is the smell of LoooOOOOooOOoOOOoOOOOOoooove!" he grinned. "You know he's not interested right?"

Ranmaru didn't even look up.

"He's set for a 'younger' variety."

"I know." Ranmaru replied her voice as cold and monotone as ever.

"So you should just go with me." 

"No. I will make him notice me."

"What if he doesn't?" 

"Then I'll be a nun." Ranmaru looked Rance right in the eye. Rance flinched.

"That's the first time I've seen him do that." Eddy whispered to his friends.

The horn sounded and the battle was underway…

"Remember Kenzo, just as we practiced!" Edd shouted. 

"Shields up! Weapons online!" Shouted Ed. And the regiment of peasants, now starting to look more like soldiers than ever before, formed a square and placed their shields around and above each other. Not enough we're made for everyone, so there were still holes where the older shields were used to the best of their effect. In the cramped space, Eddy shouted "Get movin!" and the turtle formation began a slow trek up the hill.

Edd could hear the first volleys of arrows raining down on them as they tell tale sounds of metal impacting on metal told him the Hara deemed him the largest threat. An arrow made it through the shield wall and grazed Edd's arm. He screamed more out of shock than pain. Kenzo caught him. "Be careful Edd-sama." Was all he could manage before he bought his shield up to block the next volley.

"Geez Sockhead, you sure we should be out here?" Eddy asked, realizing how close his friend was to dying.

"Yes. As crazy as it sounds, our safest place will be the thick of it!."

"Why?"

"I'll explain later, just keep moving!" Edd gritted his teeth as the wound still stung. Slowly the hail of arrows lessened to a fraction to their original. Ed peeked out of one of the slits made by the shields and saw that the archers, who had focused all their attention on the Eds, were now being blindsided by a charging horde of warriors led by a Rance smiling evilly. Even above the din of battle and the reverberating echoes from the shield shell the Eds could hear Chaos shouting obscenities as Rance swung him about wildly. Once again, Rance's reckless charge broke the lines open for the rest of the Oda army. The Shouji regiments were in full retreat.

The Eds' unit broke formation and followed as quickly as they could. They tried to capture and strike down as many of the fleeing soldiers as they could in hopes of one of them being an officer, but with so many running bodies, the chances of it were minimal.

Rance stood atop the battlefield with his sword in the air. "I win again! As expected of me!"

The Eds only groaned as the sun began to set.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ Tokugawa castle

A little raccoon prowled the halls of the castle in a small ninja suit. More accurately he swaggered about in a drunken daze. He hiccupped and took another swig of a bottle of sake bigger than him, though the bottle itself was quite small by human standards. "Tanutanu! Bring me sake! More sake!", the raccoon dog shouted as he smiled a drunken smile.

His face was very red from prolonged drinking but he didn't seem to care as he stumbled into the throne room of his lord Tokugawa Ieyasu. The massive raccoon dog towered over everyone, his head brushing against the ceiling. He had two swords at his waist that he checked every now and then underneath his huge girth to ensure the two weapons were still there. The little raccoon dog smiled, but then turned to shock and alarm when he noticed the human sitting next to him. "INTRUDER!" he shouted and made a dash for the human and brandishing a kunai.

"Sakai! Stop!" Tokugawa ordered in a booming voice that shook the room and the ninja-raccoon stumbled over his drunken self and skidded right to the human's feet. "This is our guest, and he come to me with some very interesting news."

There were other raccoon dogs in the room, about the same size as Sakai, all hidden behind Tokugawa's massive form. They all moved to the side to help Sakai Tadatsugu to his feet. He glared at the human as intimidating as he could manage, which was hard enough being no larger than a human baby, even harder being drunk.

One tanuki dressed in samurai garb explained to Sakai. "Apparently Oda is now being led by a foreigner, and he is tearing through Hara Shouji's country."

"So what Il Naomasa?" Sakai hiccupped. "Why should we care what the humans do? As a matter of fact, why should we care what this human has to say?" he finished the last a bit louder than he wanted, due to a fit of coughing as a bad swig of sake went down his air pipe.

"zzzzzzzzzzzzz" replied the snoozing tanuki on the other side of Sakai.

"Really Sakakibara? And you believe this human's word?"

"I verified it for myself Sakai san." Another tanuki ninja materialized on Tokugawa's shoulder. "Oda is indeed being led by a foreigner, and he bought along three young foreigner humans with him. The strategy of the three combined with the erratic behavior of their new lord could be trouble for us if he decided to declare war."

"Then let them come!" Sakai shouted. "Hattori san! We are tanuki! Tokugawa tanutanu is stronger than humans!" he declared.

"Even so it would be best to sit and wait." Tokugawa said. He looked towards the human. "And you say these three the foreigner has are not foreigners but aliens?"

"Yes indeed. They don't even come from this world." The human smiled a wolfish sort of smile.

"And how would you know this human?" Sakai accused and pointed his half empty sake bottle at the human. The human shrugged, his grey inconspicuous clothes drooped a little around his shoulders. "Because I come from their world…"and he smiled again, a predatory smile that made Sakai flinch under his gaze.

"And for this info I thank you. What was it you wanted for this again?" Tokugawa inquired.

The human turned his disturbing gaze to Tokugawa. "Give me a unit of troops about five hundred. When war comes, and it will mind you, I will face them."

Tokugawa nodded. "We can spare that easily. Go ahead. What is your name then human? I can't really call you that. With all the humans in this castle I'd mix you up with all the others if you don't have a name."

The human closed his eyes as if he were deep in thought. "My real name I'd like to keep to myself for now. Until I feel ready to divulge it, I prefer to be called Luther."


End file.
